Rants
I generally don't know what to say when someone says "what's up?" to me. What is the most appropriate response? I know I shouldn't take the phrase literally (the sky, birds, ceiling, heaven, etc.) but I don't know what to say. When someone says it to me I just want to say "I'm standing in line at the grocery store just like you" or "I'm drinking here at the bar trying to avoid awkward moments but you just ruined that". Really, what should I say?
Close talkers must die. I hate them. I need at least a two foot radius around me at all times. Don't invade my bubble during conversation. If I back away from you, don't walk towards me or you may get tased.
One-uppers must die too. If I say something, don't one-up me. I don't care. I'm not impressed. No one else is. If you contribute something that is relevant to the conversation that's fine, but don't one-up me just to one-up me. Similarly, if I'm talking or having a conversation, don't just inject something irrelevant to the conversation to make you feel like you belong. You don't belong. I hate you. Go away. If you must change the subject for some reason you may announce this change by saying "Rapid Subject Change" or "RSC".
I bought a bottle of "Woop Woop Shiraz" yesterday. The woman at the cash register said snarkily "Wop wop? I've never heard of wop wop before. Well, have fun with that." What the hell? It's not like crack made from aborted fetuses. It's shiraz.
Have you ever listened to what people say to each other and how they greet one another? Generally I've found, if the first person says "hello" the second person will say "hi" but never "hello" because "hello" "hello" is weird. If the first person says "hi" the second person can respond with "hi" or "hello" because "hi" "hi" isn't weird. Then there is the whole "what's up" or "what up" ridiculousness which throws me off. I personally like to say "salutations" or "greetings" in an oddly formal way. I also need to start saying "goodbye and godspeed" when departing. Most of the time when Beckie calls me I say "ahoy" or "ahoy, mon".
3 comments:
What's up? Hahahaha! I like to answer the phone with a "Yo?"
bzlcxdr (BizzleCoxder?)
i often answer the phone with "yo" as well. i wonder if i got it from mike or if he got it from me?
other common greetings for me include "hey", "WHO IS THIS!?", and "hello, this is Austin." that last one is usually if i'm answering the phone at work.
also, when somebody say's "what's up?" to me I usually respond with "not much" or if we're just passing it'll sound more like "naw mush."
yputon
I say what's up to you all the time, but I mean it rhetorically. What I hate is when people actually WANT a response. Which I don't, so don't hate me. And I'll try to change my ways.
I like to say "god speed" to people as a goodbye. And also like to say -- go in peace, to love and serve the lord (ala~priestness). That really fucks with people.
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