Oh my God! Another of my friends from high school/college just got married! They're all married and have kids! Argh! What do I have to show for my life? Nothing. Nothing! NOTHING! Ahhhh!!! Everyone's married with offspring. EVERYONE! I'm freaking out here.
I feel like I'm playing the Game of Life, but I ended up in Molasses Swamp or something. I don't know how it works. But while everyone has a condo on Boardwalk, I'm stuck on f*cking Baltic Avenue with my Right Hand on Red and someone is removing my Charlie Horse and Bread Basket. Everyone knows that all the crack houses are on Baltic! Argh.
Damn you, Quarter Life Crisis!! Why did you rear your ugly head when I was doing so well?!
I need camping. NOW!
