"Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true."
The problem is I didn't say enough. Or I said the wrong things. I always f*ck everything up.
Today I went to the mall and there was a store called "Torrid: Plus Sizes". First, the name Torrid is gross. Second, they had lingerie and bar clothes for heavier women. I don't know how I feel about this. I think that clothing in general is geared only towards thin people, and if they made clothing that flattered larger people it would make people look and feel better. However, a plus size store for lingerie and such is weird. I would feel weird going in there. I would feel weird trying the stuff on. I can't believe women would shop there. Plus it was named Torrid, which was gross.
I went to the doctor for a check up today. I got blood work done and the horrible phlebotomist ripped up my arm (again). I have to get a CT Scan and X-Ray on Monday. I saw the technicians who gave me radiation today. Brad was there. I said Hi and we talked a little. They were all so nice. I should write a letter. In a way, I miss them. I miss them a lot.
I'm laying in bed, beating myself up at one in the morning, for something stupid. Is it better to lie or tell the truth or say nothing at all? I need help. I really need help.
"It won't be easy. You'll think it's strange. When I try to explain how I feel. That I still need your love after all that I've done."
