*Ding Dong*
RYAN: My parents don't have a doorbell... [goes to door, and opens] Did you just say "ding dong" like you're a doorbell?
FEDEX MAN: Yes. Here, is your completely undamages, fully-functional, laptop with no attached liability for FedEx. Bye. [Runs Away]
RYAN: Hmmmm...box undamaged. [Opens it] Exterior conforms to proper standards of laptop appearance [Turns it on] It works! Man-o-man-alive, it really works!!!!
ALLELUJA CHOIR: Alleluja.
RYAN: Thanks. But my hard drive has been formatted. Now I have to reload everything. Well, at least it works. Thank you India, thank you HP, thank you Federal Express, thank you Microsoft, thank you confidence, thank you passive-aggressive silence, thank you terror, thank you impotence, thank you Portia DiRossi.
PORTIA DIROSSI: It was my pleasure. Your sister is hot.
RYAN: Mmmm...ok. [Awkward Silence] Now what do I do?
PORTIA: Do you want to have a pillow fight in our underware?
RYAN: Can we invite Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson and other very attractive, very blonde women?
PORTIA: Yeah, like you had to ask me.
RYAN: I know. I was kidding. [Hits Portia with a pillow]
PORTIA: You're going down, bitch. Get him grrls.
FIN
4 comments:
You forgot to thank providence and disillusionment.
Tell your sister her commercial for her new perfume is very daring.
Beckie
Oh, and your sister shouldn't walk around in public restrooms without shoes. Wait, I keep thinking your sister is Britney Spears. But she's not, she's cooler. Did you thank Alanis? She's got sassy hair.
BTW... did you find the virus?
It was a worm, that I got through some IM program. Actually it was a big deal because it prevented me from opening msconfig, regedit, and look at the performance of the computer. So I tried to install a/v s/w and it wouldn't work. I did a system restore, got it in safe mode, manually removed it, then ran the a/v. What an ordeal.
I <3 Portia. She's hot. I'm not sure Paris is pillow-resistant tho...I think she'd snap in half.
Post a Comment