[Pussy Willow Avenue, Brooklyn, MI]
RYAN: Portia DiRossi, I declare you as my concubine. Now get me a biscuit!!
PORTIA: Why am I your concubine?
RYAN: Because you are hot. And lesbionic.
PORTIA: Right-o. Did you hear that Dan tried to summon me the other day. And he got Joyce DeWitt instead? Joyce DeWitt!
RYAN: I heard. I'm glad that I got you instead. You're more blonde. At least he didn't get Erin Moran.
PORTIA: Don't say her name! If you say her name 3 times, eat a ham sandwich, twirl with vigor and alarm and watch an episode of Joanie Loves Chachi on DVD, you will summon her from the bowels of hell and she will come out of the TV and eat you.
RYAN: Yikes. That sounds horrible.
PORTIA: It is. That's what happened to Callista Flockhart. Didn't you wonder where she's been?
RYAN: Yes I did. Ok, not really. I can't believe she ate a ham sandwich. The girl needs a sandwich. Bad.
[Long Pause]
PORTIA: So why is this called "Desperate Concubines"?
RYAN: It's the new prime time drama. It's about these kept women, who are desperate because they are, and now they are a team of superheros. I'm like the pimp.
PORTIA: That's hot.
RYAN: Right. Now all concubines must play on the slip-n-slide.
CONCUBINES ENSEMBLE: Yay!
Find out what happens next time on Desperate Concubines, when a new Concubine joins the team, and it's not Traci Gold.
3 comments:
What about Tracy Wells of "Mr. Belvedere"?
That's where Portia is!
I was thinking about doing a "hot blondes' sequel, but I haven't had much time to write it. 'Desperate Concubines" sounds like the spin-off I was going to do. D'oh. Maybe I'll e-mail you about it. "Hot blondes" was a twisted rip-off, so I hope my spin-off idea isn't too similar to "DC."
Almost forgot to add -- awesome! : )
That's where Portia is!
I was thinking about doing a "hot blondes' sequel, but I haven't had much time to write it. 'Desperate Concubines" sounds like the spin-off I was going to do. D'oh. Maybe I'll e-mail you about it. "Hot blondes" was a twisted rip-off, so I hope my spin-off idea isn't too similar to "DC."
Almost forgot to add -- awesome! : )
Post a Comment