The holidays have lost that special spark for me. I don't want any gifts. I don't want fancy food. I don't want to turn into a consumerist berzerker. I don't want a television the size of Rhode Island. I just want to have a quiet celebration of lights, and capture the wonder and joy felt by millions of people, when their savior was born, when the oil for the lantern lasted 8 days, or when you knew that the days were going to get longer and it would all be ok. A festival of light. Light for salvation, redemption, hope.
It seems that everyone is coupling right now and I have a problem with that. Not a huge problem, but of course that means that I'll be left out. I understand it has to happen and I'm not unreasonable, but I don't like to be left out. I may not be the center of the universe but I'd like to think I have the gravitational pull of a small star. Furthermore, I tend to disapprove of everyone that my friends date. Is it reactionary? Is it jealousy? Is it protective? Or do they just have bad taste? I think it's the latter, but in reality it's probably a combination thereof.
Mother farker! I just used "thereof" in a sentance. I think that's a mark that I've crossed over.
Anyway, I'm happy that people are dating and stuff. But around the holidays? Come on. Once again I'll be alone on New Years wondering if I'm blessed or cursed. Holidays make me sad because I could see myself being alone on Christmas in the not so distant future. I wonder if I have any chance at redemption left.
Whenever I have a moment where I feel lost I like to listen to "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now". It's like an anthem for the Quarter Life Crisis. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not alone; others feel the way I do.
I think that "Draconian" is such an awesome word. Must try to use it more.
7 comments:
Don't worry Ry-Bear, I'm all alone too. Just remember that you can always marry me cause my family LOVES you. I think they like you more than me.
You are not alone. I am here with you. Though we are far apart (or down the street). You're always in my heart.
I have the solution to your problem.
1. You
2. Me
3. Club Rain
4. Mucho drinky
Like I said, we can do our hair together. Let me know.
The Colleague
I approve of The Colleague's suggestion. I could use drinky, but should wait until Friday-y. (Who am I kidding, I'll probably be boozing tomorrow night. Or right now. Or not. Or being electricuted.) You aren't the only one alone. If you don't want to marry Jessica, we could move to Canada.
Also, please do not use Draconian. That word should die. It is overused. I see it in articles at least once a day or hear it on TV or in my sleep or and so on. I have used "thereof" before -- it did not make me feel dirty or anything.
I'm a pirate!! Arrrrrr! (I have no idea why I keep adding that to stuff today. Arrrr!)
- Dan
Hey, now maybe all your "other friends" are coupling, but that doesn't mean that all is well in D-town. I just married a chair. And we're very happy, as long as we're in Canada where it's allowed. And people used to say, "Oh, look at that person with the chair, that's unnatural." Well look how stupid they are now. I don't really know where I was going with this, so maybe I should just leave it like that.
(I really don't know why gay marriage talk always leads to me talking about people marrying furniture. It's the slippery slope argument I guess that make me question the sense of people.)
I think that drinking would be much fun. I don't know about going to club rain. I'm afraid we'll die. And not a fun death but a Toledo-clubbing death. The worst of it's kind!
I really need to do my hair too. Maybe I'll bleach it. Like really bleach it.
I think I'm feeling better today. My final final! Yay!
You're right, Dan, Draconian is used a lot but I love the word. I think it's a great sounding word, so that's probably why people use it a lot. I don't want to use it though in a "I'm writing for the Star and I need to use big words to make this didactic prosaic fluff sound more appealing to mezmorized media crazed zombies" but more I need to use it in conversation because I like it.
Don't bleach your hair. As I've said, it is the mark of the guilty. And as for your use of "thereof", don't be surprised - and don't be fooled into thinking it'll be your last slipup. Soon you will be using words like "unconscionable" and "wherefore" and "applicable" with impunity. Wherefore, you shall use such words when applicable, in accordance with 99 USC 1492 (hereinafter referred to as "The Act").
Beckie
Ole!
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