SOAPBOX - VIRGINITY

I just found out that a friend of mine just lost his virginity. (Just so you know, it really is a friend, I'm not that cliche) Anyway, it made me cry a little. Not a lot, but a little. And it made me ponder virginity all over again. Why is it an issue? Why do I care? Why does anyone care? What is the big frickin' deal?

My stance on virginity is that it doesn't exist. It's just a simple construct of society that has no real relevant role. Let's say I perform fellatio on 37 men. Am I still a virgin? Some would say no because there was no penetration. What if I had anal sex with a man would I still be a virgin? I was penetrated by another man, this must qualify as loss of virginity. (This is getting me a little uncomfortable and I'm writing it). Then, lets say I get pegged by a woman with a strap-on. There was penetration, but not by flesh, only plastic. Does this count? What if a woman has only had sex with women, she's 83 years old and has had sex with 2973 women. Would she still be considered a virgin? I guess I could go on and on with scenarios other than a man inserting his penis in a woman's vagina and the question of virginity would be questionable. Obviously virginity is not so easily defined, but people want to label it and classify it neatly.

I've determined that virginity doesn't exist, but why do I make it such a big deal? Perhaps one reason is because society is obsessed, and as a member of society I'm required to be obsessed also. Sex is ever present and if you're not getting any then you're out of the loop. Maybe it's the loss of innocence that is so marked, and not the physical act itself. As an eternal epicure, it saddens me every time I grow up a little more and so does everyone around me. Jealousy is also looming on the horizon. Maybe I just want what other people have. Maybe I just want to be normal. But I'm not. I have to move on from that. Maybe it's all of these and something else that I haven't though of yet.

Virginity has always been an issue for me. Someone has always tried to label me with it and categorize me. They are trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. (Oh, the metaphors just get more depraved by the minute!) Ever since I have a memory. Based on reasons I'd not like to share right now, since about the same time, I've never considered myself a virgin. I've never felt that chaste or pure or pious. It's just never been an issue for me. When I hit puberty and started learning about sex, I was uncontrollably obsessed with it. Maybe I still am.

I think that virginity is like a traffic sign. It's just many along the road of life and some people see it differently than others based on how they were raised and their experiences. Some people see "Yield" or "Pass With Care" or maybe even "Ped X-ing". It's something we should look at and acknowledge but not let it control our trip. Even if we ignore it, the worst thing that happens is a $110 fine.

I think that my sign says "Stop", and I've been too scared to take my foot off the brake.